Being a youth coach over the last 20 years has provided me with a whole host of experiences with players and parents. Predominantly, these experiences have been positive and even life-changing for me.

However, I have also seen my share of difficult experiences between players and their parents, parents and officials, parents and parents, and parents and coaches. These negative experiences can have a lasting impact on anyone involved and it's important that we ALL work to keep athletic experiences positive for our sons and daughters. 

Below is advice for parents that I have shared over the years. Although it was initially written for basketball parents, many of the points apply to parenting in general.

The following advice is borrowed from Coach Morgan Wooten. Coach Wootten is a legendary coach who led the DeMatha High School boys basketball program in Hyattsville, MD, from 1956-2002. He won 1,274 games and has a winning percentage of 86.9% 

1. Tell your child every time you watch them play, “I loved watching you play today.” Please think about how that would make you feel! It takes the pressure off of your child and allows them to simply enjoy the game
2. Do not soften the blow for your child after a loss. If they lose, teach them to not make excuses, to learn from the loss, and move on. Many times the players move on from the loss quicker than the parents. We get better through setbacks if we face our challenges head on. It also makes us mentally tougher and resilient - two important life skills to develop.
3. Teach them to be a part of something greater than themselves. Teach them this by applauding their efforts and their coachability. Do not coach them to look to score, take over the game, show their talent, or shoot more. If you teach them to be “me-first” players they will miss out on the experience of being part of a team. Teamwork teaches humility, working toward collective goals, and being part of something greater than any one individual. All young people need to learn these skills.
4. Do not coach your child. Coaching your child will confuse them. Allow them to experience how to deal with others. Encourage your child to listen to the coach. Although you may not always agree with every decision a coach makes, you can rest assured that no matter what they have the best interests of the team and your child at heart. A very simple definition of each person’s role puts it into perspective. Players = play, coaches = coach, officials = officiate, parents = support. Make sure to play your role well and don’t try to assume someone else’s role.
5. Do not approach your child’s coach about playing time. Encourage your child to speak with their coach. A coach should be honest with their players about where they stand and what they need to do to improve. Your job is not to approach the coach about playing time or strategy. Your child needs to learn to advocate for themselves and learn how to communicate with others. Remember that a player being a valuable member of the team is important. It is not all about playing time. Also, your child may be a less experienced player and may need to develop. Many players do not come into their own until their senior year.
6. Do not compare your child to others, but encourage them to be the best that they can be! If a parent is constantly trying to have their child be better than someone else, the child will always be second best… but if you encourage your child to be the best they can be and compete to be that everyday, they will get better and they will reach their potential.
7. Cheer for all! Never speak negatively about your child or another child or coach. We would not want anyone to speak negatively about our child, so do not speak of someone else’s child  negatively. Faith • Love • Service • Leadership
8. Be self disciplined. Basketball (soccer) is an emotional game. It can bring out the best in us. It can also bring out the worst in us if we are not careful. Keep your emotions under control. Would you want someone yelling at you from the stands? Would you want someone yelling at you at work?
9. Let it be your child’s experience. In order to do so, we must acknowledge that we can not control the experience of our child… that is why it’s called an experience. When we experience something we will have good times and bad times, great moments and average plays, we will deal with victory and defeat… allow your child to experience these highs and lows in sport which will give them the tools to deal with the ups and downs of life. If we try to control the experience, our child is not being prepared for life.
10. Teach them to play for the love of the game and not a trophy or individual recognition. Teach your child that they are playing for the love of the game, for their teammates, and for the love of competition. Think about if you could teach your child to be a great competitor, a great teammate, and to love what they do - that would be special! In youth sports we need to get away from the fact that everyone gets a trophy. If we do, we are teaching them to play for the reward rather than understanding that the reward is playing the game itself.
11. Focus on the process. Sports, like life, are a process. We need to attack the process everyday to grow and get better. The process is hard work, knowledge, attitude, perseverance, teamwork, coachability, dealing with success and failure - winning is only the by-product of the process in sports and in life.
12. Enjoy the journey of your child. Any journey we take is bound to have great moments, some bad moments, and some moments that we laugh at. Enjoy the journey with your child and do not agonize over every single play, decision by the coach, or a good game/bad game by your child or their team. In 25 years, you will wish you were watching your child play sports. Enjoy the journey while you can!
13. Be a parent, not a fan. Your child will make mistakes. Your child is not always perfect. Teach them when needed and make sure to compliment them when needed. There is always a teachable moment in any situation.
14. Do not make excuses. “The teacher or coach does not like me” is a familiar excuse. In the end, coaches and teachers like players that work hard, are coachable, have a great attitude, show perseverance, are good teammates, and more. Teach your child to show their coach these attributes. 

A few videos from coaches about the youth experience that I believe sum up aspects of the problems and solutions. The unifying theme- let the coaches coach and let the players play.

In soccer, you will often hear these two terms- finishing and shooting- interchangeably. But they have very distinct meanings that all players must understand. Having the ability to shoot, does not mean you can finish.

Key Concepts:

• Shooting- When a player kicks the ball at the opponent's net in an attempt to score a goal.
• Finishing- Scoring a goal, generally at close range.
• Repetition- The act of repeating an act over and over.

Shooting refers to the act of kicking the ball toward the goal, usually from distance, with a chance at scoring a goal. Finishing generally refers to scoring goals from close to goal, often from a cross or through creative play. To put it simpler- shooting involves hoping the ball goes in the goal, while finishing is putting the ball in goal.

I'm not trying to minimize the skill involved in finishing versus shooting. Both attempts on goal require players to utilize particular mechanics and techniques that players must practice regularly and independently. Through practice, players learn where and how to strike the ball to create the type of shot they want to produce. another difference includes how hard players strike the ball- shooting will often require power, whereas finishing often requires finesse.

​For my teams, shooting also serves a secondary purpose. Shooting from distance early in a match can force defenses to step forward and defend higher up the pitch. Therefore, I will often coach my teams to take shots from 20+ yards away from goal in order to force the defenders to worry about shots from distance. This creates space behind the defenders for attacking players to run into and create chances for finishing on goal.

Finishing requires players to make decisions quickly in tight spaces and requires various techniques and surfaces of the foot or head- inside/outside/laces. Due to the limited time often afforded players in front of the ball, they must practice one-touch and two-touch shooting in this space. These are often scrappy goals that develop from mistakes and scrum-like conditions.

The final key, in both shooting and finishing, is going to be repetition. The higher the number of reps a player takes, the more they will perfect their technique and mechanics. It isn't as easy to do during indoor, but I would often advise my players to either stay after training sessions or spend time independently working on shooting and finishing- this may include taking free kicks and corner kicks.

Types of Shots

• Instep drive: This shot is done with the laces of a boot and is widely used. The ball is struck through with the laces or the top part of the foot. The shot is powerful but less accurate.
• Bending shot: This shot is made using the side of the foot (or the outside of the foot on occasion) and is usually but not exclusively used in free kicks. The ball bends or swerves in such a way that it beats the keeper, the only drawback is that it lacks great power.
• Chip: Also known as the lob, this shot focuses on getting the ball to a certain amount of vertical height, where the goalkeeper can't reach it and then have it come back down again into goal, it takes a certain amount of technique and precision to pull off.
• Knuckleball: A free kick or shot from distance that has no spin and has erratic movement.
• Toe poke: Used with less frequency, this shot uses the toe of the boot; as it is a quick strike which requires little motion, it is often utilized to fool or surprise opponents who would normally not expect this type of shot.

Having a cohesive tactical approach to attacking play can have great benefits for any team. Successful teams have players who understand those roles and tactics on the entire field. However, being creative in the final third of the field is what produces goals . . . and hopefully success!

First of all, let's define what we mean by the "final third". We often divide the field into thirds in soccer to denote the differing tactics that are used in those areas.

The area closest to the team's goal is the defensive third. The middle of the field around the halfway line, and including the center circle, is the middle third. The part of the field nearest to the opponent's goal is what we refer to as the final third. It’s called the final third sometimes because that’s your team’s offensive objective: to build play and finish in your opponents defensive third with a goal.

Key Concepts:

• Attacking Third- the part of the field nearest to the opponent's goal
• Finishing- scoring
• Splitting- a direct pass to a teammate that goes between defenders
• Cross- a ball sent into the middle of the field from the flank
• Early Cross- a cross that is sent from the middle third

Attacking in the final third has two basic components- the build up of attack and finishing. For this post, I am going to focus primarily on building the attack.

Building the Attack
Coaches have varying thoughts and tactics when approaching the final third. In general, however, you will hear most of our coaches discuss any or all of the following:

• Possession (Barcelona)- maintaining the ball through a series of quick passes- often laterally on the field- intended to create passing lanes toward goal.
• Killer Pass- an attacking pass that puts a player into a goal scoring position. This is often a midfielder playing to a forward by splitting the defenders.
• Width (Bayern)- playing the ball wide to flank players in space.
• Cross/Early Cross- Crosses most often create scoring opportunities in the penalty box. They are difficult to defend due to the trajectory of the pass, the aerial nature of the pass and the angles of attack created by a ball entering play from the flank. 
• Direct Attack (Liverpool)- this tactic may relay on long or short passes, but the result is in scoring opportunities from speed, quick wall passes and creativity.

In training, we will often run through multiple tactical scenarios to move the ball into the attacking third. Personally, I try to encourage creativity with limited risk- playing a simple pass, playing the way you are facing, playing into space, etc. All of this requires patience. Mistakes often happen when players are impatient and simply get rid of the ball in a direction they think someone should be, not where a teammate is on the field.

Since 2003, I have been a trainer and coach with Lake Placid Soccer Centre (LPSC) which runs player and team camps through St. Lawrence University. LPSC is partly owned by Co-Founder and International Director of Coerver Coaching, Alfred (Alf) Galustian. In 2010, I completed my Coerver Youth Diploma with Alf and continue to believe strongly in the Coerver mission and method.

Here's a little information about Coerver Coaching and it's goals:

Coerver Coaching is a global soccer coaching program inspired by the teachings of Wiel Coerver and created in 1984 by Alfred Galustian and Chelsea great, Charlie Cooke.

 Coerver Coaching is:

•  A soccer skills teaching method suited for all ages but especially for players aged 5-16 years old of all abilities and their parents, coaches and teachers. 
• A Method that focuses on Individual skills development and small group play

The ultimate goal of the Coerver Coaching Method is to:

• Develop skilled, confident and creative players
• Make the game fun to practice and play
• Teach good sportsmanship and respect for all
• Value winning but not more than character and performance
• Provide a safe & educational experience that meets best practice criteria

We will be working with Coerver skill development during many of our technical training sessions. In particular, I will focus on an aspect of Coerver skill development called Mirror Moves. These are complimentary attacking moves that allow players to either beat a defender 1v1 or change-of-direction moves to divert play away from pressure. These are components of 1v1 Attack & Defense in the Player Development Pyramid above.